dancing between worlds
For a long time (read: forty years), I didn’t realize I was a medium. This isn’t to say that I didn’t know that I could connect with spirits; I did know that; I didn’t know that I could own this label. I didn’t realize what it meant, exactly, or the depth of it, mostly. And I didn’t know what, if anything, I had to do with it.
My friend, Kim Bolourtchi, invited me to chat with her about healing on her (awesome) podcast, Boldly Stated, (you can click and listen to our chat) and the day after I had a little epiphany about mediumship, it being a label that I’ve wrestled with for the past ten years.
As it turns out, I didn’t/don’t need to do anything with it. It’s a part of who I am, as much as it’s a part of who you are.
Every living being is a medium. This is because we are connected to and an extension of life force energy. I touched on this in my last post, on seeing dead people. At this moment, I want to spend a little time on how this has influenced my journey because I think mediumship is a largely misunderstood way of being in the world.
As you can imagine, I’ve had a bunch of different experiences as a medium. Many have been beautiful; some have been hard, others confusing, a handful downright unpleasant. Sounds like life, don’t you think?
In general, mediumship is a dance between the world you see and the world you don’t. For the sake of clarity, the world you see is every dense object and all sentient beings that show up on your path. The world you don’t see is the subtle energy that surrounds all sentient beings and dense objects.
Everything you can see and touch around you is a form of energy, and every form of energy has an energetic frequency. Frequency shows up as light or sound. You can see and hear some frequency levels, but there are other levels beyond your earthly comprehension unless you tap into your mediumship. Mediums can read the frequencies beyond reach, and in doing so, they can reach into other worlds. The dance is in knowing what’s what and trusting your lead. Your lead is the Universe. In my experience, which happens to be the only experience I can speak of, I have learned that it’s best to allow the Universe to lead the dance. Every time I’ve tried to lead, I’ve tripped over my ego and completely limited the opportunity for a beautiful experience to unfold.
So, this dance with the Universe: sometimes it’s a waltz, sometimes a tap, sometimes we sway back and forth like two people who don’t know how to dance at all, but still there is movement, understanding, allowance, flow. There is communication, fulfillment, and, most importantly, love.
When I tell you that I didn’t realize I was a medium for the first forty years of my life, it’s because I didn’t know that I was dancing with the Universe. I moved in and out of communication with spirit; I was sensing/gathering information as I entered rooms, sat in meetings, walked by people, interacted with people, prayed, cooked, cleaned, and wrote poems and stories. Many times I felt lucky, sometimes in tune. Often I felt guided and held, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on WHAT. It didn’t matter to me until it mattered to me. And it didn’t matter to me until it stopped.
It stopped when I stopped feeling fulfilled; when my purpose seemed without purpose; when I kept looking for my curious, creative, joyful self, and I couldn’t find her. That all of this coincided with turning forty seems cliche, but I know now that it’s not. Without getting into a very long discussion about the chakra system, it’s enough to know that our chakras are always spinning, opening, and developing in seven-year cycles. When forty rolls around, the third eye chakra activates our intuitive connection and perception of All That Is. As Mark Sanders so eloquently writes in The 7 Cycles of the 7 Chakras this is a time of inner illumination:
6th cycle of 7
inner illumination | ages 36–42 | perception
The 6th Chakra — Ajna (meaning to perceive) is often called the third eye as it is located midway between the eyes and within the center of the forehead. It is where intuition comes from. It is related directly to the pineal gland. This is where wisdom resides.
This is a time where we generally look to the development of a relationship with the non-physical. The inklings of wisdom take hold and our search for meaning becomes paramount. The world we have experienced begins to make sense to us as we experience it with our newly opened eye on the universe. The attainment of our voice allows us to now not only communicate but to know intuitively know what we want for ourselves. We are beginning to think clearly about life.
Our intuition, imagination, our insight and our connection to the universal voice manifests within and through this phase of our experience. It is where we learn to see for ourselves what we were meant to do. Our expression of Anja in this cycle helps us to comprehend the totality of the world. We begin to see just how much impact we have made on the world and often question whether we are doing what we are meant to do.
My points of illumination were unmistakable moments of clarity in conversation with birds, first, and then a room full of spirits, followed by two visits with two separate mediums, both named Jack, who pointed out the not-so-obvious obvious to me: I was a medium. Their advice back then: own it, go out and use it for good, talk with more dead people, be of service. I tried all of that. I tried following their advice, but the thing of it is, we’re all different people experiencing the ways that mediumship can help us do the most good. I offered readings and attempted to teach and guide others to discover their own thread of connection, all of which were beautiful moments of connection for me. There is a place, though, where my mediumship makes me feel like I’m flying through the clouds, and that’s when I write. If I look back in time, it has always been this one. Same. Feeling. Always.
Pen to paper.
Fingers to keyboard.
Flying.
Flying.
Flying.
I believe that pinpointing the place where the flight takes place is where mediumship serves the highest good in any person. Where is that place where you feel like you’re flying? Is it writing? Painting? Cooking? Dancing? Sewing? Running? Is it in a lab? Or on a track? Is it when you sing? Or play that guitar? Is it when you draw? Is it by the ocean? Or when you hug a tree? When you’re piloting a plane? Helping others?
where is it? where is it? where is it?
That’s the place where you tap into your mediumship. That’s the place where you can trust the Universe to lead you in the dance of dances.